Bright were the lights that night,
Blinded me with green eyes,
As I turned, clarity metamorphosized,
Into a second’s silent void
until too late I saw,
the metal shadow loom upon me,
Sickened. Slammed. Screamed.
Time was fractured, hung in white,
With only space to call
My God! My God! My God!
In that fragmented moment,
that pitched me headlong,
into a macabre magnitude.
The unnatural days that followed,
Preyed on my mind and heart,
Magnified every sound into sirens,
Cast a sinister veil upon the familiar,
making tables, chairs, vases
Appear with silent sullenness,
To bump a newly clumsy me.
Doorbells rang with raucous laughter,
To rake out the painful breath,
Out of my mottled chest.
Sleep stolen from my nights,
When dreadful dreams choked,
Me with invisible coils of livid red.
The Fear feasted on me, inside out,
Pecked out calm and courage,
Leaving weeping wounds of worry,
Shrunk me to the smallest heap,
Of skin and bones and remnant hair,
That hung dry on tattered hope,
With glands so parched they sucked,
Every emergent tear and night sweats,
Until drained of blood, water and tears,
I crumbled to the fathomless deep,
where groping in the dark I found,
a hand with a hole in the palm
that lent an easy and tender hold.
Through heavy-laden lids I discern,
A luminous light flowing through the hole,
Casting a growing warmth upon my face,
Like an open fire on grateful hearts,
Returning from a long wintry walk.
As hardened clumps of ice began to melt,
A river trickled across thawing cheeks,
Dark tears of fear and despair,
Now tasted sweet upon my lips,
Through newly sighted eyes I see,
Three figures surrounding me
My Lord, Our Mother and St Jude,
Pouring a salve upon my sickened soul,
Made of Grace, Help and Protection,
Exorcising the turntable of terror,
That had been replaying in a loop.
Freed. Saved. Revived,
I heard Him call me by name,
To face all fear to feed my faith,
Turn histrionics into hope.
For blinded before I failed to know,
My Lord God He had answered me,
That very moment when I called.
He laid kindly hands along the path,
Placed compassion above judgement,
Forgiveness and Mercy I received,
Only Love and Grace upon my face,
My God. My God. My God,
Here I am.
Rested at your feet,
Grateful and at peace,
That your constant Love,
Is always here with me.